On the road to recovery

It’s amazing to me the way time heals all wounds. It sounds totally cliché, and I’m sure you’ve all heard it many times before, but it’s absolutely true! When we go through a crisis in our lives, whatever the case may be, we tend to start to dwell on the pain. We think we will never get over the hurt, the anger, the loss. We may even start to fall in to destructive habits like alcohol and drug use. Those are dark paths, paths that only lead further into the abyss of anger and despair. But something amazing happens when we change our mindset. When we forgive, trust God and move on for real.

Personally, I really struggle with letting go of things and people that I want, or feel like I need in my life. In my particular situation, I saw all these signs from God telling me to let go, but it was really hard at the moment to have faith that there’s better out there. I think I just didn’t know what “better” was, what it looked like, or when it would come. That frightened me. When we realize and accept the truth, which is that God will never close a door without opening a better one, and we believe it faithfully and wholeheartedly, that is when we begin the path to recovery. I think in my case, I stopped him from closing that door a few times because I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to wander lost, lonely, and hopeless until I find that new door he has opened for me. I was terrified of losing what I had because I didn’t want to feel empty again. I felt that it took so long for me to finally find apparent “happiness”, to finally not feel like something is missing, to finally find someone who understands. I had a ton of questions like, what if I never find it again? What if I never feel alive again? What if I never feel love again?  Having to leave my comfort zone, losing the only person I confided in, the person that I thought was my soul mate, and no longer doing the things that I used to escape and feel good was scary and most of all, painful.

When your comfort zone is no longer comfortable, when the person closest to you is now the person constantly hurting you, and your escape and feel good is now toxic, that is when it’s time to let go. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s easy, it’s not. It’s very hard and painful, there will be times when you want to run back to it, to them, but you’re only running back to the same toxicity and negativity. Once God says it’s time for you to move on, it’s time. It won’t get better and the person will never change no matter how hard you pray, no matter what you do, and no matter how hard you try. It’s at that moment where you need to accept the situation and focus one hundred percent on yourself. No one is going to love you like yourself. That’s the time when we have to change, be brave, be strong! It’s the time to find the new opportunities and people that God has waiting for you. You will never find better if you don’t move on, and if you keep going back. Give it time. Give it perspective. Meditate and pray to the Lord and he will guide your life. But most of all, give it time. Time will give you new perspective. God will give you the strength and patience to endure. Trust him, hold on to his hand and he will guide you out of the darkness, and into the light.





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