Change is good

Well here it is. I’ve been cooking this up for a while now, and now that I’m here I don’t know where to start. So I’ll start by simply putting my thoughts for all to see. Life has taken twists and turns as I’m sure it has for everyone. One day you’re on top of the world, and the next day you’re on the bottom looking up, wondering what happened. This was the case for me in 2017 in particular. I remember this time last year thinking how great things were going for me, beautiful wife, good job, wonderful kids, overall nice situation. Fast forward to the beginning of 2018 and let’s just say things have taken a turn. It’s amazing how much we take relationship stability for granted. Apparently all of 2017 I was sleep walking through my relationship. Something that I thought had solid foundations was actually teetering on the edge of the precipice, unbeknownst to me. While I still have the job, the kids and I’m still blessed, I find myself in the middle of a struggle. A struggle to maintain my composure and to make sense of all that’s happening around me. Without going in to too much detail, I’ll say that I find myself on my own now. Sometimes there’s good days, and sometimes there’s bad days but my point is this: When one faces a crisis in their relationship, marriage or life in general, one is forced to evolve as a person, whether they want to or not.

Sometimes things happen in life that make you change as a person.  They make you change your approach and view on certain things. Personally I found that I was living a selfish lifestyle. A lifestyle that cost me dearly. It cost me tears, emotions that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling, and pride. It’s always the pride, particularly for us men. Ultimately, I don’t know if  my selfishness may end up costing me my family, but there’s something else here. Before I went through all my pain and anguish, I never attempted to be a better person. I was stuck in my groove. A groove of apparent satisfaction that I felt I had because I was under the impression that my life was “sooo good”. I thought the beautiful wife, beautiful house, nice car, nice job was enough. I thought I had “made it” when in reality, nothing was further from the truth. Before I knew it, I was on the bottom looking up. But in this personal hell I went through something happened. I slowly began to realize that I was attempting to place the blame on everything and everyone except for me. Denial is not just a river in Africa, and for the longest time (most of my life actually) that was the state I lived in. Denial. It is indeed a tough pill to swallow when you realize that most of your problems could have been avoided had you just done and said the right things.

Get to the point you say! Well the point is this. It’s never too late to change your ways. If you are someone who may be going through something similar, my advice is this. Don’t let your negative situation push you towards more negativity. Change! Change your perspective, change your life. Ask god to put a new heart in you, a loving heart. If you are not a believer, you still have the option and ability to change your view. I believe I would still be stuck in my selfish ways had I not gone through this crisis. Sometimes things like this must happen in order for us to get it in to gear and make serious life choices. It’s never too late to change. Buy those flowers for your spouse you’ve been thinking of. Take that trip, be romantic, write love letters! Hug and kiss your kids, It’s never too late. The only things we can’t escape are death and taxes they say. No matter how dark and hopeless your situation may be, you have the power to change it. And if it’s something you can’t control, then change what you do have control over, yourself.

Out with the old and in with the new!



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